It was on a cold ill  fated evening of December when a thunder bolt had struck Neera.  The doctor attending on her husband had declared him dead.  As if to confirm the tragic information the death certificate had been handed over to her, in no time.

All her colleagues and her near and distant relatives had come to condole with her.  Tiny Mini,  Neera’s daughter kept toddling around, innocent of what had befallen her.  The voices hushed in the corridor reached Neera’s ears,

“This is Neera’s liability.”

“ But for her, Neera might certainly begin her life over again.”

“Oh! God  why did it have to be a daughter.  Only if she had been a son.”

“Thank God she has at least someone to live for.”

Huddled in a corner Neera wondered if what had happened was a reality or only a nightmare that would pass on her waking up. 

She remembered how her parents had been intensely worried until a few years ago looking for a suitable groom for her.  Constant worry had told on her father’s health as a result of which he had fallen ill and passed away.  Her mother with the help of her younger brother could finally manage a suitable match for Neera. 

“Neera don’t tell about the settlement of wedding to any one.  The people are very cunning these days.  They will certainly poison the in-laws and it may be called off” had warned her mother.

The whole matter was kept a secret, from near relations, until the eleventh hour when they distributed the invitation cards. The wedding was a simple one.  All of Neera’s colleagues accompanied by Madam Vidushi were present there on the occasion.  Neera was the apple of every one’s eye.  Who wouldn’t have admired a sweet and cultured girl like her?

Madam Vidushi was happy that Neera had decided to continue to work as a teacher at her school even after her wedding.  “Where would I get such a sincere and dedicated teacher of her kind?” thought she.  After all for the last eight years Neera had been working at her school with such remarkable efficiency.  After completing her teacher’s training she had joined Madam’s private school as an English teacher in the primary section.  English was one of her subjects at the Graduation level.  She had subsequently done her Masters in Economics from Lucknow University, securing 78% marks.  Eight years ago the school where she taught was only upto the eighth standard, but thanks to Madam Vidushi’s perseverance and her administrative skill, her school earned a name for itself in the city.  The people in that area had high expectations from this school.  It was the most upcoming and famous one in that colony. 

Her husband’s body was still waiting for cremation when she over heard a voice.

“But Neera can certainly get a job in Shusheel’s office.”

“After all where is the future in a teaching job in a private school?” endorsed some one.

“In Shusheel’s office she would get all the facilities and security of a Government job and a good salary,” said a lady thoughtfully.

“At least some good should come out of the marriage.  What did she get all these years nursing an ailing husband, financing the house, cooking, washing and cleaning for her in-laws?” This was the angry voice of her elder sister Seema.

Neera herself could neither think nor decide anything for herself.  She was totally confused.  All of a sudden she felt the soft touch of some one on her shoulder.  Looking up she saw Madam Vidushi, all in tears looking at her sympathetically.  In her look Neera could read the assurance of a secure future.

“I am still alive.  Why do you worry?” consoled Madam.

Neera burst into tears.

“Your responsibility is my responsibility.” Madam assured.

As the days passed the grim reality began to sink in Neera’s consciousness, she was a widow with the care of a one and a half year old daughter on her hands.  Again and again reminders came to Neera from Shusheel’s office, enquiring if she would like to get a job there. 

Neera told her mother “Ma, I won’t be able to face those strangers in his office.  Madam is so much like you.  My school is my second home.”

“But dear, how long can you work there so hard?  You bring home a whole load of copy  books for corrections.  For a month or so you get busy with the annual function.  And what about those extra -classes which continue for about six months in a year?” pleaded she with a motherly concern.

“That is no problem.  I am habituated to this pattern of work.  I don’t mind working hard,” argued Neera.

“Try to understand me.  With age we human lose stamina.  Think of your future.  Will you always retain  your present strength?” she wondered.

“Yes I will remain as strong willed.” said Neera firmly.

“What about your salary?   Your daughter - - - -”

Neera broke into sobs and tears rolled down her cheek.  Mother and daughter sat embracing each other for a long time.

Not only had Neera lost her husband she had lost her peace of mind too.  Daily one or the other friend, colleague or relatives  would come with a suggestion for her to join her husband’s office. 

That day when one of her best friends Naina  called on her she said,“Ma please tell her, I have a severe headache, I am sleeping and can’t meet her.”  She lay down in bed and did not talk  to her at all.

This became a routine with her.  She now started avoiding all visitors.

She thought she could discuss the issue with Madam alone.  She had great confidence in her.  That evening she returned from Madam’s place satisfied and fully pleased.

She announced, “Ma I have decided once and for all to continue working at my present school.”

It was a fine morning. The director of education was to come to inaugurate a new section at the college.  How busy were the teachers preparing for the function.  Neera volunteered to help Madam in the more important matters.

“After all God is kind.” thought Neera.  Now she could apply for the post of a lecturer in Economics.  “This will give me some job satisfaction and an extra bit more in the pay packet.  Mini is growing.  Her needs are also increasing.” she said to herself thoughtfully.

She neatly got her application typed out and handed it to Madam.  She was sure that she would be given this post.   She was the only teacher in the school with a Masters in Economics.  Besides Madam had a soft corner for her.

It was in the month of April that the new session started.   The weather had the pleasant warmth of an Indian spring. Admission of new students in class XI was going apace.  Daily early in the morning  neatly dressed boys and girls with their guardians could be seen queuing expectantly in front of the Principal’s office. Many new teachers had joined.  During the interval while they were introducing themselves Neera as usual was busy with her correction work.  Teaching English to small children was by no means a trifle.  She always took special pains in writing  out whole correct sentences if the student had written them incorrectly.  Many of her friends had suggested to her only to underline the incorrect sentences and work faster but she could not appreciate this idea.   All of a sudden the word ‘Economics’ was audible to her.  She looked up and saw a young girl smiling and introducing herself to Neera. 

“ - - am doing my MA Economics as a private candidate from Kanpur University.  This is my final year.” concluded she.

Neera enquired,”What classes have you been given?”

“Economics, three sections of class XI.”the girl said.

Neera on a sudden, stopped correcting her notebooks. She wondered why she had been told a new Time Table would be made and she would be given the higher section.  She sat still for some time and when the interval was over she went to her class.   She taught them as usual but today a series of questions   kept flashing through her mind.

“Why has my application been rejected?”

“Why has an unqualified teacher been appointed?”

“Where did I go wrong?”

Before returning home she went to Madam’s office, discussed the matter with her and came out as cool and as complacent as ever.

 “Madam is a wise lady.  She always does what is good for every body.” rationalised she.

 Days passed on like the percussion recital of a 24 beat's rhythm.   Gradually  Mini grew up and passed her first Board Examination and was now trying to get admission to college.  

One day Madam Vidushi called Neera  to her room.  Neera entered the tastefully decorated room filled with the fragrance of roses.  She had known the room for years but every time she entered she was struck by some special freshness of the surrounding.  On the walls were some beautiful oil paintings, under her feet she could feel the soft Persian carpet, some antiques along with some fresh green plants in golden pots occupied a corner of the room.  She thought ,”Why does the room never become stale or lose its freshness?  It is just like Madam herself, always with her radiance and welcoming smile.  Time could not dim  the spark of life from her eyes.”  She glanced at Madam’s fingers while she was busy writing something.  She was impressed by her manicured small hands with diamonds and other gems.  “Such  good taste Madam  has!”she told herself.  “I am grateful to God for allowing me to work with such a great lady” she murmured with a sense of inner satisfaction.

After signing some cheques Madam looked up and said, “Sorry, Neera for making you wait.  This work was very urgent.”

“How efficient and dedicated she is!”mused Neera.

“Has Mini got her admission into a  college?” asked Madam.

“How can she remember all these details?  How considerate she is!” thought she.

“Where are you lost dear?  Has Mini got her admission to college?” repeated  Madam a bit loudly.

Neera stammered,”No, she has filled up admission forms of a few colleges and is waiting for an interview.”

“Good, She has been a good student she will surely get admission into a good college.”

Neera’s eyes welled up.  She was very proud of Mini who had inherited her disciplined and obedient nature.

“Well would you like to teach Economics to classes XI and XII?”said Madam.

Neera could not make a prompt reply.  Something had got stuck into her throat.  Clearing her throat and controlling herself she whispered,  “Yes, Ma’m.”

“Come on be louder.”

“Yes, Madam, I shall feel honoured if I get this opportunity.” said she loudly.

Neera was very excited to get to teach senior classes.  “Mini is growing up.  I need money for her higher education and later for her marriage.  I will be able to save more money now.” thought she.

She found her work quite challenging  and interesting.  After years she got a chance to teach her own subject Economics.  She consulted many reference books,  made notes and went thoroughly prepared to her classes. 

The students were very excited to have her, they whispered, “Neera ma’m is wonderful.”

“The same subject has become so interesting and easy.”

“What beautiful charts and diagrams she draws!”

“Why couldn’t we have her earlier?”

Neera could see their appreciation in their eyes.  “What else do I want?  After years I have got some job satisfaction.” she thought.

The month of March came and with it the final Board Examination.  The students of ISC class performed very well in their final examination.  The results were declared and all the students scored above 75% in Economics.  Ten out of eighty students scored above 90% in her subject. 

After  a long long while tears of joy welled up Neera’s large eyes.  Her happiness knew no bound.  The students after receiving their mark sheet came rushing to her and thanked her in their own ways.  Some presented her “Thank you” cards, some small roses but all came with their heart full of gratefulness.  “This is a great reward.”she mused.

That summer her sister Seema came to spend some time with her.   Neera thought she could take some guidance from her regarding the investment of her money.  She took out her Pass Book from the almirah and showing it to Seema said, “I think if I invest it properly it will multiply faster.  Could you suggest what I should do with my savings?” Turning the pages of the Pass Book, Seema shouted, “What! You are still drawing the same salary.  For three years now you have been teaching classes XI and XII.  Why have you not been given the higher grade?”  She was unable to control her anger she continued, “Did you talk to your beloved Madam?”

“But Madam assured me that she would give me, my due salary scale, in due time.”said Neera.

“When will that due time come?” retorted Seema.

“Why are you getting angry?  I will speak to her about my grade tomorrow.”

“You must!”

“Do you know this year my students gave excellent results?  What an achievement it is. Isn’t It?” said Neera chuckingly.

Seema said nothing but left the room and went out to get some fresh air.

The next session Neera got her Lecturer’s grade.   Day by day Madam Vidushi’s college became more and more famous.  In the mean while Mini also grew up.  Seema helped Neera in getting a very good groom for Mini.  He was a promising engineer in Delhi.  The only condition was that the groom’s parents wanted  the wedding to take place in Delhi.  Neera thought that Lucknow was not too far away from Delhi.  It  was a short distance and Mini would be quite near her.

“Look they want an early marriage.  Don’t delay.  The boy lives in my colony.   I have known that family for the last 16 years.  I have seen the boy growing up and he is in every way very nice.”  said Seema.

“I am ready to do any thing didi you just tell me what I should do.”  said she anxiously.

“Can you  proceed on leave?”

“Yes I can.  I seldom take leave.  Besides Madam has a soft corner for Mini.  She always enquires about her progress.  God knows how she remembers every detail in her busy schedule.  She will be very happy to know about the match.  She will very gladly sanction leave and I can also get adequate money from my provident fund.” said Neera excitedly.

Without saying any thing she immediately took out her pen and paper and wrote two applications.  One application was for leave for a month and the other was for drawing Rs.40,000 from her provident fund. 

“You know last month I calculated, I had Rs. 50,000 in my PF.  Madam says in the event of need, any body could withdraw  money from PF at two or three day’s notice,” said Neera beaming with satisfaction.

“Besides I have my fixed deposit and my Unit Trust shares.  In total I can manage about 2 Lacks.  My jewellery is all kept unused.  A little polishing will make them as good as new.”

No one could stop Neera from talking today.  All of a sudden she had become chirpy like a little girl.  She swiftly pulled out a box from under the bed.

“Look, I have already bought these saris for Mini.  I bought these silks from ‘Gandhi Ashram’ during the sale in October.  Are they not beautiful?” said Neera   holding the saris with both hands and feeling the softness of the silk.

“Yes, they are.” said Seema looking sympathetically at her little sister who had never been so happy perhaps for ages.

There was a song in Neera’s heart.  The whole night she could not sleep.  There was no need to.  She felt so relieved.  Was she not living all these years for the good times just ahead of her?  Were all her savings not for this  occasion.

The next morning she got ready even much before time to go to college.  She revised her applications and kept them in her purse.  Reaching college she got impatient to communicate the good news to Madam.  After morning assembly she immediately reached her office.  But she was not there.

“Where is Madam?” Neera asked to Madam’s PA Mrs. Verma.

“She has gone to the other branch of the college.”

“Which one?”

“The Amausi branch.”

“But that is quite far away.  When will she return?” enquired Neera anxiously.

“You know Neera.  Sometimes she returns in two or three hours and sometimes she overstays, spending the whole day there.  What is the matter?  Is there something urgent?” said Mrs. Verma.

“Yes.  Can you try her on her mobile telephone?  Please don’t.  I think I will rather wait till she returns.”

Neera didn’t know how to expedite matters.  How time hung over her!  Ultimately the college was over.  Instead of returning home Neera took the road to Madam’s residence which was quite close to the college.  She thought she would wait there if  Madam hadn’t returned from Amausi Branch.  Seeing her car parked in front of the residence Neera  gave  a sigh of relief and paced up to reach faster.

She thought she would give Madam a pleasant surprise.  She took out both her applications and as soon as she saw Madam, without saying  a word she handed  the papers to her.

“What are these Neera?”

“My applications.” said she chucklingly

“For WHAT! a month’s leave.  Why?”

“Mini is getting married.”

“When?  Where?”

“5th of March and in Delhi.”

“What will you do for a month?  You know the Board and the Annual Examinations are approaching.  The syllabus is to be revised.”

“Madam my sister has asked me to do the shopping  at Delhi.  If I buy things here it will be difficult to carry furniture and other things to Delhi.  Besides in Delhi we can get the latest items and at reasonable prices too.  We will accompany her and stay at her place.” explained Neera.

“You trust your sister, don’t you?  Let her go with Mini and do the shopping for you.  You may go one or two days before the wedding.”

“But, Ma’m - - - “

“Neera, try to be professional and don’t be sentimental.”

Neera was taken aback, for a good two minutes she just did not know what to say.  At long last she replied;

“You are right Madam, I have been sentimental.” replied Neera candidly.

“What is the second application for?  WHAT! Rs.40,000.  So soon.  You know it takes about six months to get the money.  How can you get the money at such short notice?  Why don’t you use your other investments?  You must have saved something.  Try to be practical, Neera.” advised Madam.

“I understand Madam.  I can understand very well now.   All my life I have not been practical.  The truth has dawned on me right now.  From now onward, I will be practical.  Tomorrow I will send in my application.  It would be the last application from me to you.” said Neera firmly and stamped out of that place,  resolved never to look in again.